Happiness in Marriage

Several years ago I was thinking about and pondering on what makes my life happy.  I came to the conclusion that I was a lot happier when I was doing more to make my marriage stronger.  When I was giving everything I could to make our home and our marriage work, I was happier and our home was happier.

 

I decided that I needed to give 100 percent all the time.  I needed to work as hard as I possibly could in our marriage.  I stopped keeping track in my mind of whose turn it was to do certain tasks, or if I had done what I felt was my fair share of the chores.  I just did all I could in every way.  Some days I was able to do more than other days.  Real life means that every day is different.  I began to notice that my husband was doing all he could in our marriage.  He was doing his 100 percent all along, but now I noticed it more easily.

We have an eternal marriage, and have made covenants that we intend to keep.  We are human, however, and so that means that each of us will make mistakes, but we have learned how important it is to repent often and to forgive quickly.

 

Elder Bruce C. Hafen in his talk “Covenant Marriage” explains that marriage is tested by three kinds of wolves.  One of those wolves is the imperfections of each of the partners in a marriage.  I think we all know how easy it is to see imperfections in ourselves and others.  They often leap out at us on a daily basis.  I have found that I need to be softer and kinder to myself and those around me as we all work on improving.  It is so important to look for the very best in people around us, especially our spouses.  We will find what we look for, and when we look for the best things we will notice them.

I often think of an experience my husband and I had when we were newlyweds.  I had heard or read somewhere that it was a good idea to have a weekly discussion about what could improve one’s marriage.  I had a couple of ideas of what my husband could do differently that I thought would make things better.  I think I shared one of those things in our little discussion and then asked him to tell me what I could do differently.  He was quiet and thought for a minute then said that he thought everything was going great.  Well, I couldn’t say anything more after that.  I was a little miffed that my big plans didn’t work out the way I had intended.

I believe that it is certainly important for a husband and wife to discuss how things are going in their marriage, but it is essential that they do it in a very loving manner and be careful not to point fingers of criticism at one another.  In a covenant marriage husband and wife are more concerned about each other than about themselves.  They are willing to give all they can, even 100 percent, to each other and to their marriage.  This will bring happiness and joy to their lives and to their home.