Equality in Marriage

When the Lord created Adam and Eve He said that Eve was “an help meet” for Adam. From Howard W. Hunter we learn that “meet” means equal.  God intended husbands and wives to be equal in their partnership.  Equal does not mean the same, but that they each have an equal part in the marriage. 

I have been blessed to be part of a marriage where both partners feel equal, much the same as President Gordon B. Hinckley defined it: “In the marriage companionship there is neither inferiority nor superiority. The woman does not walk ahead of the man; neither does the man walk ahead of the woman. They walk side by side as a son and daughter of God on an eternal journey.”

Unfortunately I have seen marriages where this equality is not the case.  I have seen men dominate their wives and use words that are ugly and demeaning.  I have known situations where a wife was told by her husband that because he held the priesthood, she needed to do everything he said. This is very sad and it is not right. This is not how our Father in Heaven intended marriages to be.

President Hinckley teaches: “Marriage, in its truest form, is a partnership of equals, with neither exercising dominion over the other, but rather, with each encouraging and assisting the other in whatever responsibility and aspirations he or she might have.”  

I love President Hinckley’s words of direction that husbands and wives should encourage and help each other in whatever it is they want to do. This reminds me of Dr. Gottman’s advice that spouses should learn of each other’s dreams and help them to achieve those dreams.  This is what true friends do. They help each other become the very best they can.  They encourage each other and work together as equals.  

As husbands and wives strive to be equals in their marriage they become unified and become one.