Charity in Marriage

I believe the secret to happiness in marriage is having charity. When we have charity towards another person we are able to see them as Jesus sees them. In his book, Drawing Heaven Into Your Marriage, H. Wallace Goddard reminds us how important it is to have charity towards others. He says:

“We choose to see each other the way ordinary mortals see each other,or we choose to see each other the way Jesus sees us.That is charity, the mind of Christ.”

I have a choice in how I see and act towards my husband. Listen to the qualities that define charity as listed in the Book of Mormon.

We learn that Charity: 

• ·         Suffereth long
• ·         Is Kind
• ·         Envieth not
• ·         Seeketh not her own
• ·         Is not easily provoked
• ·         Thinketh no evil
• ·         Rejoiceth not in iniquity
• ·         Rejoiceth in the truth
• ·         Beareth all things
• ·         Believeth all things
• ·         Hopeth all things
• ·         Endureth all things   (Moroni 7:45)

I can think of many times in my marriage when the words from this scripture have helped me overcome the natural person I am inclined to be.  Maybe I was irritated by something my husband did, or by circumstances outside our marriage and I acted without charity. Being charitable does not come naturally to me. It is something that I am constantly working on.  But I believe having charity is essential to a happy marriage. It is, after all, the pure love of Christ. Charity means loving the way Jesus loved.

I think Father in Heaven knew that because it is so important for us to have charity, the pure love of Christ, that it would not come easily to most of us. That is why he instructs us to pray fervently for this divine quality, this gift. We are taught in the scriptures to “pray unto the Father with all the energy of heart that ye may be filled with this love. . . ” (Moroni 7:48).

This brings me such hope. We are given a list of qualities that will bring us happiness even if they are challenging to do. But we have a way that we can succeed. We are commanded to pray “with all the energy of heart” to have these gifts become part of our lives. The Lord has promised many times in the scriptures that we must “ask, and it shall be given unto you . . .(3 Nephi 14:7).  Our Father wants so very much to bless us, but we must ask so He can give us these qualities.

It is only when we have these Christ-like qualities that we will be able to rise above the natural man our wants.

When we have charity we will be able to think more of our spouse and our marriage than ourselves. Then we will know the secret to a happy marriage.