Helping One Another

Every marriage will have times of stress and disagreement and each marriage partner has his or her own way of managing life and all that comes with it. There will be times when it can seem as if both husband and wife agree on nearly everything, while other times there may be a myriad of differences.

However, if a couple will love and respect each other and commit to help and to be helped by each other, those differences and disagreements will not become so severe as to damage their marriage.

In his book, The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work, John Gottman explains that: “When a husband and wife respect each other and are open to each other’s point of view, they have a good basis for resolving any differences that arise.”  

It is important to show respect to your spouse at all times and treat them like royalty even when there is stress at home. It can also take great patience to help one another other.

 

I am reminded of an experience in my marriage when my husband was patient and helped me see how I could become a better person. 

I was under a lot of stress with our children and my church calling and wasn’t handling the situation very well.  Even little things would cause me become short tempered. My sweet, patient husband suggested that he and I go out for some time together, just the two of us. I agreed and we went on our date. But I still had a lot on my mind and wasn’t able to be totally in the moment. While we were out I got a call on my cell phone that I decided I needed to take.  Not even realizing what I was doing, I was very nice and polite to the person who had called me.  When I finished the call, my husband quietly pointed out what had just happened.  I sat quietly for a minute and I realized that I needed to change.  I realized that if I could talk politely to an acquaintance on the phone, then I could make the choice to treat my family better.

Even though my stressful situation didn’t change, I tried to handle it better. I prayed that I would be able to have the strength to use self control to treat my husband and children with respect and politeness. The Lord has taught us that there is no room for contention in our lives. 

Jesus teaches: “He that hath the spirit of contention is not of me, but is of the devil, who is the father on contention, and he stirreth up the hearts of men to contend with anger, one with another.

“Behold, this is not my doctrine, to stir up the hearts of men with anger, one against another; but this is my doctrine, that such things should be done away” (3 Nephi 11:29-30).

The Lord will help each of us become better and overcome our sins. He has given the commandment to have no contention in our lives.  With the Lord's help and that of our loved ones we can improve. When I was stressed and needed help having more self control and less contention in my life, my sweet husband helped me see how I could do that.