Choose Humility

Today I asked my husband how he thought I would react should he request that I change something to make our marriage better.  He thought for a minute then said that I would probably fall down in astonishment and amazement that he had asked such a thing.  Then I would most likely get back up and say, ”Oh, okay,” and go do it.  Well, we both laughed about that because I am kind of a stubborn person and he is very gentle and kind and rarely asks anything of me. 

I do, however, remember a time many years ago when my husband gave a family home evening lesson to our family, but I recognized that the subject matter was especially for me.  He didn’t say anything specifically to me, but I knew the lesson material was something I needed to work on more than our children, who were young at the time.  I secretly kind of resented his lesson even though I knew I needed to improve in this area.  I was being proud.

In President Benson’s talk, “Beware of Pride,” he reminds us that: “The proud do not receive counsel or correction easily. Defensiveness is used by them to justify and rationalize their frailties and failures.” 

 When we are proud we feel that our way is the right way. We feel that we need not change, but instead others should change to accommodate us. Of course, this is pride speaking. 

President Benson further teaches: “The proud are not easily taught. They won’t change their minds to accept truths, because to do so implies they have been wrong.”

I had been wrong, and I needed to change. It is obvious that I knew my actions needed correcting since I recognized my short comings in my husband’s family home evening lesson.  So I gave myself a little talking to, and worked on overcoming that particular fault. It took work to get over my pride. I needed to make an effort to become more humble and teachable in our marriage.

The words of President Benson teach me every day: “We can choose to humble ourselves by receiving counsel and chastisement.” It is true that the only way I can become the person I want to be is to be willing to change.  Sometimes I may receive promptings from the Spirit on how I should change, or I may recognize behaviors that I need to change after I have read something, such as a book on marriage. I may also receive gentle reminders from my husband.  I just need to be humble enough to recognize where I should change and not let pride get in the way.

*Disclaimer: My husband does not remember giving the family home evening lesson. He says he should have just talked to me about the issue.  Personally, I think I was probably more teachable through the lesson he taught.